Don't Watch Me

Bright red. That's what my face looks like 5 minutes into exercise. I also sport heavy labored breathing, courtesy of my friend asthma. Still, I manage to go out and jog a few miles a couple of times a week. I jog because it is the most efficient form of exercise, not because I love the activity. More calories gone in fewer minutes. This is like bargain shopping for exercise!


Understand that I live in a very hilly neighborhood. Since 95% of my runs start at the top of a hill I always have to finish my jogs by going up, up up.


One of my runs last week was particularly memorable. I hadn't been out for a run in over a week (rain/heat&humidity/laziness kept me away) so this particular day was going to be difficult. But I suited up and set off anyway, enjoying the downhill descent at the start.

As I ran I found my mind wandering, singing songs, thinking about the day ahead, saying high to two ladies power-walking...


Okay, I didn't just say "hi." I put on a show for these ladies.

What?!

Now that I've got your attention let me explain how you can put on a show while running...

No, I did not flash them. Not that kind of show! But when I run by people I start pretending. I pretend that running is easy. I pretend that I'm not completely out of breath (to accomplish this I have to hold my breath, which means that I'm even more out of breath after I've passed these people.) Ridiculous! This makes no sense even to me, yet this is what I do time after time when I run. If there are multiple groups of people I put on multiple shows.


It happens that it was a quiet morning and these ladies were my only customers. I gave a great performance as I quickened my pace and lengthened my stride. It was easy to do on the flat stretch or road at the time. As I ran my route I kept my inner quitter at bay be promising myself I could walk up the last giant hill.

You know what happened, don't you?


I was almost there, to the mailbox where I could start walking, when the ladies rounded the corner and merged onto my road. They were going to walk up my hill behind me. The audacity! Now I had to finish the show that I started earlier. I could not let them see me walk, not when I had worked so hard to give these strangers the idea that running came easy to me and it was something I enjoyed.


So I ran up the hill telling myself "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Phil 4:13 NKJV)." I did make it, but the whole time I was wondering, "Why do I care about the impression that I make on these women? What do they care if I run or walk up the hill?"

My pride was the driving force. I had an image to uphold! What I didn't understand at the time was that working hard to look good to random people meant that I was neglecting myself.


It dawned on me that I do this in other areas of my life, and I'm sure I'm not alone in this. Consider:

• When company is coming countless hours are spent obsessing over cleaning and decor, forsaking my need for rest.
• Painting projects, craft projects, scrapbook projects, landscaping, getting dressed, etc, are always critiqued by the question, "What will other people think of this?"

Conclusion: I am an approval addict!


I so often search out and value the approval of others that I lose my own sense of self and I forget to seek God's approval. Colossians 3:23 tells us, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men..."


So the next time I am out running I hope you see me running for the Lord. I want to be red and drippy with sweat. I hope my breath is ragged when I greet you. And, as I pass by, I pray that I won't be trying to surmise what your impression of me was.


God's stamp of approval transends any that I or someone else could offer. And if we have God's approval we're going to have an inner beauty that no cosmetics counter or beautiful dress could hope to surpass.