Fat Pants, Skinny Wallet

I've noticed a correlation between my waistline and my bottom line. You might think that I mean my wallet gets lighter and I get heavier because of all of the food I buy. That might be partly true, but that's not what I'm getting at.

Let me explain.

I'm a real Dave Ramsey fan. If you're not familiar, he's a real money and budget guru. His advice includes things like "act your wage," and he regularly counsels people to cut up credit cards and stay on a budget.

So there are months where my husband and I religiously hold budget meetings, watch every dollar, and have discussions about major upcoming expenses. These aren't easy, but we do it.

Do you know what I've found? It's during these times of living by the budget that I'm most successful with my eating goals. The rebellious gene in me is temporarily switched off and I'm able to be the "good girl," doing all the right things. This is when my wallet gets fat and I can wear the skinny pants.

But then something happens to derail me. It usually isn't obvious. It's something little, like buying an extra pair of earrings off the clearance rack. Hey, they were a good deal. It was only a few dollars. I'll wear them all the time. I deserve them, I've been so good lately! Slip. Slide. Those excuses mask my change of heart. I'm in denial until it's too late. By the time I realize what's happened, all of the boundaries in my life have been loosened. Where I used to measure food exactly, now I eyeball it or don't even bother to measure at all. Pretty soon the budget is a piece of paper to be ignored. Every day a little bit more of my resolve erodes until I've shopped my way back to a skinny wallet and eaten my way back into fat pants.

Do you know that I've only been able to put the brakes on this crazy ride with the help of our One and Only?

Psalm 121:1-3
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber

How perfect is the imagery in this Psalm! When I'm in my fat pants I'm definitely down in every sense of the word. In a hole, ready to curl up in a ball and give up. Hope is scarce. But when I lift my eyes up I can see a bit of light peeking in. And then I remember God is with me even when I'm in a hole.

After he's pulled me up from the hole, this is what I feel happens next: he takes my head in his hands and looks me straight in the eye. "Remember, sweet one, that there is still a hole here. Just because you aren't in it anymore doesn't mean that it's gone away. Really, time is just going to erode the edges and make it bigger. You'd do best to put up a big fence and just stay away from it all together. And by the way, remember when I said I was watching over you? That's still real. And I'm not going to let you fall back in that hole. I keep watch 24/7. The only way you're going to fall back in is if you ditch me and try to do this on your own."

And so God has saved me from a few trips back down. Mainly he does this by giving me verses that speak truth at monstrous decibels. When I'm obedient and in his word, he is like the Queen's Guards at Buckingham Palace...ever watching and protecting. It's only when I ditch him and do my own thing that I stumble, slip, and slide back into that hole. I'm finding my trips down to be less frequent in occurrence and duration, and that's wonderful because I'm learning that life outside of the hole is much more rich!