This Sunday in church I listened to my pastor preach on the promises members make to their church. The promise to uphold the unity of the church, the promise to support the ministry of the church, etc. As I was sitting there a whole bunch of random thoughts came pouring through my mind. There is something about Sunday morning sermons - they really get the wheels spinning in my mind!
God was meeting me there in that sanctuary Sunday morning. The gist was, "hey, you've been too busy for me this month and I want you back." Remember that blog entry I wrote on raising my hands? Well, I finally got around to doing it this week and let me tell you, it was awesome. The tips of my fingertips got all tingly and I felt like I was reaching heaven. It was marvelous letting all of my inhibitions go and laying the praise on God. What a freeing experience! (Does it still count that when the music changed my hand flew back to my side like they weighed 300 pounds?)
It might be a little naughty, but after a few tears of joy during communion I started watching the women around the church. It's so hard not to notice the cute shirt my friend was wearing or the new baby just 4 seats over. The problem is this wandering mind of mine. Pretty soon I wasn't giving mental kisses to that sweet baby, I was comparing myself to the women all around.
What am I talking about? Thoughts like: "She just had a baby and looks better than I do right now," or "I wish my hair looked like that!"
And, as thoughts often do, they progress from bad to worse. Next on my descent into no-no land was a thought about my weight. See, two years ago I was about 15 pounds lighter. I felt like I could wear anything and it would look good. Now, not so much. I have to be much more discerning about the clothes I pick. So as I scanned the sanctuary, my mind was whirling. "I could wear that if I was 15 pounds lighter, and so on." I considered my weight to be my best accessory and it was lost at the moment. What a pickle!
Good thing that God was in that room with me. Piercing through all of the extra chatter in my mind came this clear, calm thought. "I am your best accessory." Wow. What a revelation. It wasn't about fashionable clothing or the right highlights. It was about beautiful hearts. The truth of that statement, "I am your best accessory" is still becoming real for me. What does that mean? Right now it means that my beauty comes from him. Godly beauty trumps worldly beauty if you have the eyes to see it.
I pray that I have the eyes to see the Godly beauty in myself and every woman I come in contact with. I pray that I will keep hearing God through all the clutter in my mind. Thank you, Lord, for calling me out and reeling me in.
Proverbs 31:30 (New International Version)
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
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