Worry Wart

Matthew 6:25
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?

I find it interesting that when the word "worry" was first introduced into the English language it meant "to strangle." (www.word-detective.com) Over the years it has mellowed out a bit, but there is truth in that original definition.

What does worry strangle in your life?

Joy, peace, hope, fun, laughter. These are all casualties of worry.

Wasn't it wise of God to tell us not to worry about our lives? But how hard that is to actually do!

In my life, riddled with responsibility, I find it difficult to separate needed planning from the worry that robs my soul. Today, my primary worry is that I will not get everything done. Lessons graded, lessons planned, dinner prepped and cooked, kids kissed and tucked in, there are so many worthy things clamoring after me. And I go to bed at night anxious, worried that I might let someone down or that I might actually be a failure.

Heaven forbid! I think God already knows that I (and each and every one of us!) am a failure. It pains me to type that! Even so, I can feel the pressure relenting. God does not demand perfection; his utmost desire is a heart after his own.

So let me learn how to live a life that does not worry. Let me replace my worry with a trust that God will provide(time, energy, perspective, money, all of it!), and that if I am doing what God bids me, I am doing the best thing on earth for that moment.

Rain, Rain, Go Away

I'm always amazed at how single-minded I am. That old adage, "Out of sight, out of mind" could be plastered across my forehead, it's so true for me.

We just got done with 3 straight days of rain. That's hard on kids and parents alike, and even more difficult when you have a husband, father, and uncle all running around indoors trying to paint walls and frame in windows. It's like we got a taste of how we'll feel in February when the cold winds are howling, when going outside is never done out of desire.

Today the sun finally came out. And can you believe that in just 3 short days I forgot what it was like to be outside in the sun? Talk about a short memory! As I walked from the parking lot into my school I noticed again the green grass, the crisp fall breeze. I thought, "I need to take advantage of this while it's here. I should get outside more often."

And then I'm inside preparing lessons and marking papers, talking to colleagues and deciding on discipline measures. The sunshine outside? Forgotten. Poof. Out of sight, out of mind. How quickly that happens, even with things we enjoy.

Sorrowfully, it happens all too often with my God.

Ethan kept me hopping tonight as we walked around the neighborhood, tossing out question after question. The part that I remember the most went something like this:

"Mommy, it's going to rain. The clouds are gray. Do you think it is going to rain?"

"No honey, the rain is going away. It just rained for a long time and now the rain is going away."

"I think there is rain in there. The clouds are gray. There is no white in there."

He paused and looked up at the sky, "Does God live in the sky?"

"Something like that," I said.

"But we don't get to see him, right?"

That made me think... "We don't get to see him but we do get to see what he does. We just have to look for it."

As we walked back to our house it dawned on me that I haven't been looking for God enough lately. It's so easy to let him slip out of sight, and then he slips right out of my mind.

I'm looking forward to the startup of Bible Study this week. The best way I know to keep God in my sights is to be in the word and Hebrews 4:12 says it better than I ever could: "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."

May you keep God in your sights and on your mind. Amen.

My Best Accessory

A welcome back is probably in order. I've been busy wrapping up a big writing project and now that the end is in sight I can get back to pouring my heart into Mama Melody.

This Sunday in church I listened to my pastor preach on the promises members make to their church. The promise to uphold the unity of the church, the promise to support the ministry of the church, etc. As I was sitting there a whole bunch of random thoughts came pouring through my mind. There is something about Sunday morning sermons - they really get the wheels spinning in my mind!

God was meeting me there in that sanctuary Sunday morning. The gist was, "hey, you've been too busy for me this month and I want you back." Remember that blog entry I wrote on raising my hands? Well, I finally got around to doing it this week and let me tell you, it was awesome. The tips of my fingertips got all tingly and I felt like I was reaching heaven. It was marvelous letting all of my inhibitions go and laying the praise on God. What a freeing experience! (Does it still count that when the music changed my hand flew back to my side like they weighed 300 pounds?)

It might be a little naughty, but after a few tears of joy during communion I started watching the women around the church. It's so hard not to notice the cute shirt my friend was wearing or the new baby just 4 seats over. The problem is this wandering mind of mine. Pretty soon I wasn't giving mental kisses to that sweet baby, I was comparing myself to the women all around.

What am I talking about? Thoughts like: "She just had a baby and looks better than I do right now," or "I wish my hair looked like that!"

And, as thoughts often do, they progress from bad to worse. Next on my descent into no-no land was a thought about my weight. See, two years ago I was about 15 pounds lighter. I felt like I could wear anything and it would look good. Now, not so much. I have to be much more discerning about the clothes I pick. So as I scanned the sanctuary, my mind was whirling. "I could wear that if I was 15 pounds lighter, and so on." I considered my weight to be my best accessory and it was lost at the moment. What a pickle!

Good thing that God was in that room with me. Piercing through all of the extra chatter in my mind came this clear, calm thought. "I am your best accessory." Wow. What a revelation. It wasn't about fashionable clothing or the right highlights. It was about beautiful hearts. The truth of that statement, "I am your best accessory" is still becoming real for me. What does that mean? Right now it means that my beauty comes from him. Godly beauty trumps worldly beauty if you have the eyes to see it.

I pray that I have the eyes to see the Godly beauty in myself and every woman I come in contact with. I pray that I will keep hearing God through all the clutter in my mind. Thank you, Lord, for calling me out and reeling me in.

Proverbs 31:30 (New International Version)

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.